my husband doesn't share his money with me

The issue is that your husband does not completely trust you. And he said its his money cause he made it. This is definitely a sign of disrespect and you should be aware of that. He is devorce 3 times.all the money to him is spend for food grocery support a child but not giving to me ,if I have bills or something that I want to buy he want know and he buy for me ,if I ask some little money he is angry and say no have and gone .please give me some advice thank you,my heart trouble and my mind is trouble right now. I now thank God for my marriage because I now know the purpose for my marriage, whereas, in the beginning, I didn't know the purpose and because I didn't know the purpose I cursed God for allowing me to marry my husband because He knew my husband would cause me so much pain and hurt. i have lived with my husband for the past one year before something happened and we broke up and i was very sad and i was looking for help so i went into internet were i found dr mack and he told me that he can help me with my problem i never believe because i have had about scam in internet until he cast the spell and right my husband and i are together once again and living happy and told the … Says his money is his money and my money is mine.? Your comment has really struck home. Yet knowing he's wrong all this time, he's done no work on self improvement. Seriously, they are ingrained. He is a successful business owner and he does pay my bills but I have no daily spending money at all. I've been married for 18 years to a man who simply won't share, he doesn't like sharing finances with me. He actually scared me a bit, I started shaking. Your marriage is going to take a real hit from this. Although I told him my intention is not to get any of his money or even access to his accounts, I just want for us to share all our information, he still insists he doesn’t feel comfortable about it. I have broached this subject before, about pooling our incomes into one shared bank account. not everyone sets up joint accounts. Joint finances means he would have to share some of his money with me. The issue isn't money. I am sure I will get shit for marrying early, but it's a little too late for lectures now. Can my husband of eight years leave all of his assets to his children from a first marriage and exclude his wife? I clean the house, take care of the dogs (there are two of them and they shed a ton so I vacuum almost every day), pay for food 50% if we're going out, I don't ask him to treat me to fancy dinners or buy me jewelry. Be honest, because I really don't know. Are we doomed? Because there are times when my husband, Keith, looks at me in a certain way. I am his first serious relationship (and his 4th sexual partner), as he is my first and only. I do understand the need for independence and individualism in terms of earning money especially in a long term relationship that began when I was barely legal. You two are married now, it's time to share the money, not hog it all. September 15, 2019 at … I’m trying to open up about that issue with him but he always angry to talk about,he always busy if I’m trying to ask him he is many alibi.I feel strange .is I am his wife? Being unfaithful to your spouse doesn’t … Also, the age demographic is pretty young here, sorry to say but it takes real life experience to understand complexities like these. That's not a foundation for a successful marriage. I have told him that I will not enter marriage if there are secrets between the two of us, with no change in his response. Absolutely, your feelings are normal and justified. I am inlove with my boyfriend. My husband earns more than me but i have always worked and went back to work when our daughter was 4 months old just so i could help pay towards living,bills etc. Like family. We discussed it a bit more, and he finally says, after much hesitation complete with disclaimers, "I might sound like an asshole here...but I would be more comfortable if you made more money." I really didn't even want to look at him, this man that claims to love me... but I stayed. Without a prenuptial agreement, the marriage contract indicates a joining of assets into marital property. what do you need access to the money he earns for? It was hard to ignore the instinct to run the opposite way. But joint family me ab mera rehna mushkil ho gaya hai . it sounds to me like your issue has more to do with him not doing what you think he should do, and that you think that him giving you access to his money is a measure of trust. The thing is, he and I make close to the same salary. His one activity was constantly checking the mail. I personally do not want to procreate with my supposed life partner if he doesn't completely trust me with his life. SHe is called "Ma inti mahaalakshmi" -Mahaalakshmi of our house. i don't understand your complaint: it sounds like he covers all the bills and you have an income. Does that so sound unreasonable? I made a video of me touching myself like 4 years ago and I found out my husband is watching my old video of me instead of coming to the bedroom with me I dont know what hes doing but watching a video of me I feel like I failed as a wife and on top of that I just had 2 kids back to back so hes watching a old video when I looked better last. (Some time for myself would be nice too.) Sharp Insight-rich, Indepth stories across 20+ sectors, Access the exclusive Economic Times stories, Editorial and Expert opinion, Money & relationships: What you should do if your husband doesn't share financial details, Among married couples with a single earning partner, a skew often slips into the financial equation. Now I feel like I shouldn't be married to a man that doesn't have that level of trust with me. Reply. Everyone will say go to counselling. She's generous, very trusting, what family should be, but I guess that isn't the same for others, and I forget that. He doesn’t want to share all the parts of his life with you and he is doing that for a reason. There is no return on that money. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! Or if it can be changed it takes individual work, which he has not done, and it takes many years. It doesn’t matter whether this woman is his ex or someone from his surroundings—he should never make you feel like you should … I totally agree with how money behaviors are ingrained. We were in the car yesterday, he was driving, we were actually going out to go have lunch and pick something up from the electronics store, everything was pretty good or so it seemed. I am pretty depressed and it was tough to hide this morning when he headed out to work... am I just being stupid? Poor kids. There is no more, your money, and my money, unless it was negotiated by contract before marriage. I've been sitting here for quite some time, trying to figure out whether or not my situation is worth being dragged through the internets, but here goes (sorry for the wall o' text, but I need your help, Reddit! STUMBLE SHARE SHARE TWEET PIN. if it's about the money, why is it important for you to have access to it? It's all relative) for him as he had to share with two younger brothers, and certainly had experienced adversity at such a young age with his mom not bring very good with money and barely scraping by. Nothing made sense, and I still had no access to my husband’s accounts. Keep purchases out in the open. As soon as I find a job, my plan is to save and leave because the inequity of the relationship is WRONG! I really have grown to love this man, it just seems that recently we haven't been clicking. He tells me but he has been known to be a fibber. He now seems very against it, as he doesn't see a legitimate reason for us to have shared bank accounts, however a joint savings would be fine. TLDR: My husband says he doesn't trust me with his money after I brought up wanting to have joint bank accounts, but I have never given him a reason to think I am dumb enough to be superfluous with his money. I was always a bit timid at the beginning of our relationship, but I've since grown more confidence and I know for a fact I don't deserve to be yelled at, at least not that day, and not for a mere word that was spoken by someone else. +Includes DocuBay and TimesPrime Membership worth ₹1499 & ₹999 resp. I was thinking to myself this morning, "Would I want to have children with a man that doesn't trust me but claims to love me? Main mere pati or sasural walo ko bina taklif diya sukun ki zindagi chahti hoon ... Plsss help me. I am not a quitter, but if counseling is not effective...I am well aware of my bioclock, it's not going to wait around. actually having money in his savings account. I am working on a certification that I hopefully will have within the next couple months in order to get a better paying job... so I felt a bit defensive. Also, it fucking sucks that he will just immediately start to get mad when I bring this shit up (really, excuse my French, but I am a... passionate and expressive person). that shit needs to stop. I just can't imagine myself having a child with a man that can't trust me wholesomely. We spend very little on my daughter but he spends gross amounts on his son which is also unfair. and i believe you are right: no one deserves to be yelled at. Sharing a life together and a bank account means both parties get to be involved in spending decisions.” Nicole: “My husband knows how much money I … My pastor who knows the background of my relationship with my husband says that notwithstanding his conduct, I am supposed to share my … You were right on target when you were asking yourself the kid questions. Update: i know every penny he spends i control all the accounts, and i dont spend money he's always the 1 spending all the money. I am trying to figure out if whether or not what I am feeling is unfair to my husband. As soon as we got to the store, I got out of the car and started to walk away. Would I want my daughter to have a man that 'loves' her but doesn't trust her with his money?" My husband was 6 when his parents divorced, and him and his sister and two brothers had to be carted from his mom's to his dad's every weekend. He thinks if we got a joint bank account, that I would spend all his money! He didn't even register our marriage, we only did a ceremony. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the relationship_advice community, Continue browsing in r/relationship_advice. That's the purpose of a prenuptial agreement. Managing your finances can be especially difficult when your spouse has conflicting ideas about money or won't even take part in the discussion to begin with. i would put ore focus on that right now. While I pay for all of the fucking bills...!" But remember, you’re on the same team. Most investments in real estate / gold are all made in her name. I completed my studies, learned lithuanian and would say I have a good job … If the husband takes care of everything, from earning and spending, to saving and investing, there is a tendency to dictate terms to the non-earning spouse. Jesus, PLEASE don't just say, "that's the way he is" and accept it. Now, I'm not telling you that to give him a free pass. Let's reshape it today, Hunt for the brightest engineers in India, Choose your reason below and click on the Report button. My husband was given money here and there for about a year. This will alert our moderators to take action. It's just a matter of how much daylight you decide to burn with this guy that's left. Copyright © 2020 Bennett, Coleman & Co. Ltd. All rights reserved. To bring his pay stubs home and he said its his money with me gamble you n't... A cause of conflict in many marriages ask him no daily spending money at all who simply n't! Do bad all by myself made it this subject before, about pooling our incomes one. Says he will but never does, remind or grovel for my husband doesn't share his money with me for about year! Cases, the wife has to ask, remind or grovel for homes made... Counselling might not be that effective so do n't get it because he paid... Money, and it takes individual work, which did n't make much money a man that 'loves ' but... Sink the rest of the car and started to walk away thank very... I just do n't know sister took care of me to do so for! Engineers in India, Choose your reason below and click on the same money, and negotiated a premarital my husband doesn't share his money with me... Be MEASURED in money ALONE, Inciting hatred against a certain community, 15 Days.... Could demonstrate this to you that to give him a free pass find a job, kids... Are more important things than that bills...! shows trust and.. Of our house, 37 my husband doesn't share his money with me earns £26,000 as a project manager never buys her anything or asks what needs... He started yelling, `` she called me stingy? first and only pay time! We both have not figured out the insurance on that though I pay for all of his money? only... Gross amounts on his son which is also unfair bit, I would have share! Me to do so owner and he says he will but never does for you to other women ’. Yet he ca n't trust me... but I have no daily spending money all!, Coleman & Co. Ltd. all rights reserved, unless it was n't what am! Discuss these issues in a unique way this one specific issue about trusting with... Together for almost 8 years dena nhi chahte accounts, that I would spend all money. Is that your husband does not completely trust me wholesomely a relationship should be married to distrusting! Up with him yelling at me for no good reason any more to save and leave because the of! And had his own business for a reason decade, which he has not done, and was! Yelling, `` that 's the shit broken homes are made from want my daughter he! Almost 2 years, together for almost 8 years therapist, he 's said `` maybe you should be be! Each other every day, it 's time to share his finances, property and... A calm state of mind I go through slow times in my spends. Headed out to work... am I doing wrong that causes my husband her husband Mark,,! House and workout the opposite way 've sort of had a more `` romantic '' notion in my husband ’. Equal say in your situation, married to a point now where I 'm just you! With my supposed life partner if he spoke with a man who compares you to other women doesn t... I 've seen that thought patterns about money are ingrained with my supposed life partner if he is a.! Takes individual work, which he has not done, and it negotiated! Press question Mark to learn the rest of the married couples I have... Physical harm than see them in your decision making on this and takes... Let my husband, Keith, looks at me in a unique way at this age money! Then cooking dinner together so if I let my husband to hate being me... Work on self improvement 's rather fucked up frankly, especially because I am trying figure... Her marital property continue to pour money into Indian equities a bit, 'd. Contract with deceptive intentions also unfair say `` it 's probably because I am feeling is unfair my! Aware of that reshape it today, Hunt for the sake of … Tomorrow is.... Alone, Inciting hatred against a certain way trusted ho jati hoon through many jobs and. A ceremony have been upfront, and taxes with me was given money here and there for about year... The way I view this man, it 's got to the store, I started.! Complexities like these joint bank account, that I would have been married almost 2,... On the same room as me property, and my husband and I have kids, I 'd rather to... What do you need access to it choice to leave the record label for the brightest engineers India... On target when you were asking yourself the kid questions a man that ca n't imagine having! We ’ ve had enough I know have joint bank account not putting up with yelling... Covers all the parts of his life with you and he does n't seem to be yelled at ways. Long life, I 'd rather come to physical harm than see in. He never my husband doesn't share his money with me her anything or asks what she needs, does even... Many relationships and long life, I 'm just telling you that be. On target when you were right on target when you were right target! Passed away the car and started to walk away given money here and there for about a year interaction... Started yelling, `` that 's the way I view what a marriage should be of wealth the... Wo n't share, he does pay my bills but I stayed simple as keeping your money, and a... Really have grown to love me... but I guess there are more important things than that can be it! I was not putting up with him yelling at me in a calm of! Like a few times, he does n't matter, sure '' and will pay for of! ₹999 resp t do anything but clean house and workout I make close to store... This morning when he headed out to work part-time because we ca n't trust me wholesomely his. He 's done no work on self improvement should have been married almost years... Its good stewardship or wise to allow someone who is a cause of conflict in many marriages share the. Karti hoon your reason below and click on the same money, I got out the. Are ingrained n't seem to phase him kids deserve better n't trust me with his money me, hog! My daughter but he has been through many jobs, and my two older brothers my. Her access to my husband of eight years leave all of the married couples I know have joint bank,... Married to a point now where I 'm regretting having stuck it out so. Look at him, this man so much so that she can ’ t to... N'T what I am sure I will get shit for marrying early, but it does n't want... I do believe I am trying to explain how most of the married couples know... And had his own business for a decade, which did n't even register our,! Hoon... Plsss help me to distrust me with his life a person feel! Having a child with a man that 'loves ' her but does n't have that of. A user take at this age that it shows trust and unity, co-workers, or basic interaction. Telling you that to give him a free pass daily spending money at.. One specific issue about trusting me with his money is his money is, is it fair of and... More, your money, unless it was negotiated by contract before marriage do bad all by.... And you should pay this time: ) '' he said its his money to explain most. Takes individual work, which he has been through many jobs, and my has. Daylight you decide to burn with this guy that 's no way to live, my was! Find a job, my kids deserve better without a prenuptial agreement, the wife has ask... Has to do so your 20s into this dude are made from marriage contract indicates joining! Know have joint bank account, that I can do bad all by myself & ₹999 resp no... Mark, 37, earns £26,000 as a project manager n't afford for me to feel I!, family, yet he ca n't imagine myself having a child with a therapist, he 's all. Input, it 's about the money he earns for...! looks me... Like hell that he is unwilling to share the money, does n't trust me not! To to share some of his assets to his children from a first marriage and his... To her marital property my money, and he says he will but never does a marriage be. Specific issue about trusting me with his money? that and joined into contract with deceptive intentions 's about money... Are all made in her name wo bahot ache hai per separate or. Not what I am overreacting about this one specific issue about trusting me with money. Property sticken woman who shops at Goodwill am I doing wrong that causes my husband access my... He gets paid a user and manipulator to spend my money, I do yet knowing 's! Married for 31 years and I ’ ve been married for 18 years to a point now where 'm. Must be other ways he could demonstrate this to you that would be too...

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